Todd Alvey
English121
may. 07.9
What have I learned from this school, this semester? I have learned many new things. Most important I have learned not to fall asleep at a party with your shoes on. Why is this important you may ask? When a person falls asleep at a party with his or her shoes on, it is fair game. What does this mean? Well, it is very possible to wake up with penises drawn on your face. Sharpie permanent markers don’t come off so easy. Never, ever, choose an easy party fail. When do you get to choose a party fail? A party fail is created when you draw a certain card. After this card is drawn it is possible to make a rule. Many use the rule no cursing. I always break this rule. It is very easy to break this rule. It is a very simple rule, which can involves a drinking or a punch. The end result…. well I don’t remember. How does this rule work?
Much can be learned about school in a semester. As a student, I have learned many things regarding college. The most important information I have learned; is party rules. At parties, there are many different rules. Not all rules translate from one party to the next. There is one shining rule at all parties. What is this rule? Don’t pass out wearing shoes or sandals. Don’t ever break this rule. Why? It is a party fail. A party fail is when a person breaks a rule set at a party. All party fails have negative actions. Is there corrective behavior for a party fail? Yes. By breaking this party fail, anything can be done to you. A sharpie drawing on a face is often the end result. So what is a party fail? Dont break the rules at aparty,ever. There are very stiff reactions for breaking these rules. Never create a rule that is easy to break. A swift, swig, from a plastic cup should suffice if a party fail is broken.
School is so hectic. What Can I possibly learn from school? Well…… What is most important is life skills learned along the way. Life skills are useful information. I have learned many life skills this semester attending RRCC. Most information I learned was attending parties. Useful knowledge can be picked up at a party. Waking up, tired and with a hangover from hell, is the average college weekend. Stumbling to the bathroom however; may reveal an awkward reflection in the morning. Who drew on my F@#king face? Damn. This better not be permanent marker! A hot soapy shower is the end result on a night you don’t remember. The remnant of cockeyed penises remains days after the incident. I wore my shoes to bed. I broke the commandment of party fails. Thou shall not sleep with thy shoes on. Who created this rule anyways? All, or if not, most party fails are easy to break. If you don’t remember your night, it is for the best.
Last party I went to was crazy. All parties I attend seem to be crazy. Long nights end with long mornings the day after a party. Pounding headaches and an upset stomach is from a poison, entering the body. The poison has many names. Regardless; I ask myself is this really worth it? Alcohol tends to complicate problems. Alcohol is often called a liquid panty remover. I like to think of alcohol as a lubricant that makes you talk loud, be dumb, and pass out. I think it very strange to consume any liquid in large amounts. Why? It’s stupid. Humans must use alcohol for its so called desirable effects. Alcohol possesses the ability to be a lover, a friend, and an enemy. I have a love hate relationship with alcohol. Alcohol has been the down fall for many good men. Alcohol is like a girl, your mom tells you to stay away from. Stay away how could I.
All parties are strange. Parties are a great place to meet and make friends. However; hangovers are like a ticking time bomb. The next day, most stay in bed and feel grumpy all day. The stomach gets the shakes, and bends. Ooh. I didn’t know I ate hotdogs last night? The heads turns with a marble hitting the sides. The brain has severe confusion, and is in disarray. Is this worth the one fun night for one morning of hell? No. Why alcohol? Why must you torment? Was your name Jose or Jack? I can’t remember? Alcohol makes a person into a friend, a lion, and then a pig. Alcohol makes you friendly, then invincible. Regardless; the next day is spent holding the toilet bowl. Finally you have reached the pig stage. There were desirable effects, while they lasted. Well; I hate to love you, my elixir Alcohol. I must put the red plastic cup down. However; I shall return my friend.
Leave a Comment
No comments yet.
Comments RSS TrackBack Identifier URI
